The Big Two-O

I’m finally turning 20 tomorrow. I can’t believe I’ve lived for 20 years in this world. And yet I feel so immature and inexperienced. I don’t know how to cope with being alone, I can’t even go to town alone, I don’t know how to drive, how to study hard or keep a job. But I think it’s time to take on some more responsibility and be more mature.
I keep blaming tommy for all my insecurity issues. He teases me about other girls and makes me jealous. But I need to deal with the root of the issue. I’m insecure because I think too many negative thoughts. I’m a beautiful girl who is loved by a great guy, has good friends, and is pursuing a bright future. I have the world ahead of me in these years. I need to take the life I have and be happy with it, because it could’ve been many times worse.

Some resolutions:
· I will blog when I’m angry and examine the situation rationally before storming at tommy
· I will spend more time working on myself, taking some days to spend alone instead of with him.
· I will end this stupid struggle to dominate the other person. He can dominate if he wants, I’m going to concentrate on loving him the best way I can.
· I will spend more time on my education and future, studying and preparing.
· I will reconnect with God every morning before I start the day and will pray before any big decisions. I will also look for a church.
· I will continue to read and write poetry, and submit something by this summer.

My last and most important resolution is to be happy. I know I'm blessed with having what I wanted despite it being seemingly impossible. God brought me here for a purpose, and it's high time I achieved that purpose. I'm going to concentrate on how blessed and loved I am instead of insecurities and self-doubts. I'm a strong, capable individual with so much to offer the world. I just have to be confident in myself. I'll try to make more friends and reach them through God. I hope my 21st year is filled with as many great moments as my 19th.

Thank you God, for my life.