Romantic things to do:

· Greet him with a hug and a long kiss
· Cook dinner
· Watch a romantic comedy
· Massage with candles and music
· Listen to his day’s events
· Play a board game
· Watch TV
· Go to the arcade
· Play poker
· Watch a TV series (Gossip girl, OC, ANTM, etc.)
· Do cosmo quizzes with him
· Do Sudoku
· Buy an Xbox game and play
· Talk about celeb gossip
· Compliment him
· Play badminton
· Make him breakfast
· Buy him something to take to work
· Praise him to friends
· Buy him a rose
· Write him a poem

Relationship problems

I wrote a whole blog, and as luck would have it, it's completely erased by stupid blogger. Now i can only hope to summarize what was the longest blog i've ever written. Basically it was about tommy and me, our relationship. I initially ranted that he doesnt respect me because he's always late and never phones, shoots down all my decisions like going to brunch or walking around bullring, and then he played poker all night when he was supposed to come see me.
But i realized that what i consider to be disrespect stems from

1. my lack of appreciation for him and what he does for me
2. my lack of respect for his decisions and priorities
3. miscontrued little looks from me, and gestures from him which mean absolutely nothing but we've contructed into sinister things in our heads.
4. my refusal/failure to share my dreams and goals with him
5. disappointment when things don't go exactly as i've planned

I just need to realize that work is a priority for him, and instead of hating him for putting work before me, i need to appreciate his hard work ethic and praise him for it. I should appreciate the things he does for me instead of being bogged down by what he didnt do. And most of all, i should lower my expectations of him. He's already given me a good chunk of his life and commitment. He's introduced me to his parents, and didnt push me about introducing him to mine. He listens to me and loves me the best way he knows how. And the truth is, i've never ever loved someone so completely and utterly as i love him. God bless our relationship, and may i find the insight to always blog about my problems before confronting him in anger. I want to be a better person for him, and i want to show him all that i can be. I want to show him true beauty in me through my personality and character. Please god show me how i can do that.

The Big Two-O

I’m finally turning 20 tomorrow. I can’t believe I’ve lived for 20 years in this world. And yet I feel so immature and inexperienced. I don’t know how to cope with being alone, I can’t even go to town alone, I don’t know how to drive, how to study hard or keep a job. But I think it’s time to take on some more responsibility and be more mature.
I keep blaming tommy for all my insecurity issues. He teases me about other girls and makes me jealous. But I need to deal with the root of the issue. I’m insecure because I think too many negative thoughts. I’m a beautiful girl who is loved by a great guy, has good friends, and is pursuing a bright future. I have the world ahead of me in these years. I need to take the life I have and be happy with it, because it could’ve been many times worse.

Some resolutions:
· I will blog when I’m angry and examine the situation rationally before storming at tommy
· I will spend more time working on myself, taking some days to spend alone instead of with him.
· I will end this stupid struggle to dominate the other person. He can dominate if he wants, I’m going to concentrate on loving him the best way I can.
· I will spend more time on my education and future, studying and preparing.
· I will reconnect with God every morning before I start the day and will pray before any big decisions. I will also look for a church.
· I will continue to read and write poetry, and submit something by this summer.

My last and most important resolution is to be happy. I know I'm blessed with having what I wanted despite it being seemingly impossible. God brought me here for a purpose, and it's high time I achieved that purpose. I'm going to concentrate on how blessed and loved I am instead of insecurities and self-doubts. I'm a strong, capable individual with so much to offer the world. I just have to be confident in myself. I'll try to make more friends and reach them through God. I hope my 21st year is filled with as many great moments as my 19th.

Thank you God, for my life.